Cigarettes are a SCAPEGOAT! by Jarod Kintz
America has a large amount of cancer cases, right? And America also has a large population of homeless people, right? And who do all the scientists cite as the first to get cancer? Rats, right? And who lives among the homeless people? You guessed it--rats!
That's why I believe that homeless people cause cancer. I mean come on, Sweet N Low, gasoline vapors, nicotine? When was the last time you ever saw a rat puffing on a cigarette?
And forget putting warning labels on packs of cigarettes. They should start putting warning labels on currency. WARNING: Giving this dollar to a homeless person greatly increases the risk of getting cancer.
So you really want cancer? Don't bum a cigarette off of someone. Bum a bum. You could say, "Hey, buddy, got any spare bums? I just had some amazing sex, and I could sure go for a bum right now."
And forget putting warning labels on packs of cigarettes. They should start putting warning labels on currency. WARNING: Giving this dollar to a homeless person greatly increases the risk of getting cancer.
So you really want cancer? Don't bum a cigarette off of someone. Bum a bum. You could say, "Hey, buddy, got any spare bums? I just had some amazing sex, and I could sure go for a bum right now."