random thoughts

The Mythical Mr. Boo just had his tear ducts surgically relocated to his groin, because the only time he cries is when he's standing in front of a urinal.
-Jarod Kintz

If instead of saucers, UFOs looked more like breasts, I'll bet there'd be a lot more people trying to take pictures of them.
-Jarod Kintz

I think the hardest decision you have to make before you ever decide to move to outer space, is where to put the corner bookshelf.
-Jarod Kintz

My advice for a person who's just fallen out of a skyscraper window is, Flap your arms...faster.
-Jarod Kintz

I once got attacked by a bearskin rug, two days before it was a rug.
-Jarod Kintz