random thoughts

I want to not only have the world's longest uni-brow, but, like the Great Wall of China, I want it to be visible from space.
-Jarod Kintz

I think it would be neat to meet a man who slept with one eye open, especially if that man was a Cyclops.
-Jarod Kintz

If flowers were boogers, I'd pick a few big ones and flick them on your grave.
-Jarod Kintz

I like undressing women with my eyes, although I just can't quite figure out how to unstrap their bras with my eyelids.
-Jarod Kintz

I told my girlfriend it wouldn't hurt if she shaved off a few pounds, starting with the hair on her back. But you know her, she's as stubborn as an ox, even though she's a mountain goat.
-Jarod Kintz