random thoughts

I like to spoon after I fork.
-Jarod Kintz

Just to show my dad that I think he's number one, I bought him a urinal cake for his birthday.
-Jarod Kintz

They say you fear what you don't understand. Maybe that's why every time I'm in South Florida, and I hear someone talking in Spanish, I always shit my pants.
-Jarod Kintz

A telemarketer called the other day and asked me for my name. I said "this is Pete." He replied "hi, Steve." I said "no, my name is Pete." He still didn't understand me so he asked me to spell my name. I said "no problem, P as in pneumonia, E as in Einstein, T as in tsunami, and E as in Europe."
-Pete Blankenhorn

I like my relationships like I like my eggs. Over easy.
-Jarod Kintz